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The Wannabe

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Mahmoud Salem

Mahmoud Salem

One of the few remaining benefits of living in Egypt these days is the ridiculous amount of entertainment that our Islamist rulers provide.  In a scene that’s beyond parody, a number of Islamists held a massive conference to support Syria, which in their world means “Let’s kill those Shi’a Infidels”. In the first ever display of state-sponsored-Jihad-promotion in Egypt’s modern history, a number of Islamists, alongside our great ruler Mohamed Ibn Morsi the first, called upon the Nation’s Muslims to support Syria and, if possible, go fight Jihad there, because, after two years of inaction, they suddenly realised that there was a conflict there and on one side there was some non-Sunni Muslims fighting some Sunni Muslims. Gasp and horror.

In case you didn’t know, that’s completely unacceptable of course. Non-Sunni Muslims have no business being alive to begin with, or at least that’s what the speeches of the day implied. Sectarian rhetoric got spewed for two hours on live television, proving that Morsi doesn’t only have a “Christian problem”, but a “down with anything other than Sunni Muslims” problem, which should console our Christian brothers in so far that it’s not only them he dislikes. Today’s article should then bemoan the first Egyptian democratically elected openly sectarian president. If only it was that simple…

Did you know that when Morsi went to beg Russia for money and wheat, he openly declared that his position is in complete alignment with the Russian position, which is pro-Assad, just because they promised him they might think of lending him money or wheat? Did you know that this conference took place, not two days after the Obama administration’s announcement that they will fund and arm Syrian rebels? Did you know that this conference got held exactly two weeks before the 30 June demonstrations, at a time when the Muslim Brotherhood is desperate for any Islamist support to cling to power? Did you know that in Morsi’s 6th of October speech last year, he managed to fill the 80,000 seats of the Cairo stadium with his supporters, but in this speech he opted for the covered dome, which only holds 16,000 seats?  Also, did you know that opposing the ruler in Egypt is against religion and God, but opposing the ruler in Syria is holy Jihad?

How can one not love this mess?

Oh, how I wish that what took place in that conference was simply Morsi and the Muslim Brotherhood showcasing their true sectarian selves, because the alternative is so utterly pathetic: That the MB is so desperate to hold on to power in the face of sweeping national anger, that they had to pander to Jihadist elements in such a disgusting way. The Jihadist elements naturally returned the pandering in kind, with Sheikh Mohamed Abdel Maksoud openly stating that 30 June will be a great day for Islam to stand against the “infidels” behind the “Rebellion” movement. Meanhwile, Sheikh Mohamed Hassan informed the average-electricity-and-fuel- deprived Egyptian citizens about the great benefits of Jihad in Syria: 1) There are the brownie points you get with God for killing other people, 2) There are the spoils of Jihad for the taking in the bountiful lands of Syria, like looting, pillaging and hot Syrian women, and 3) If you die, you get to die fighting in a Jihad for Islam, which immediately puts you on Heaven’s VIP list. Dear Sunni Muslim Egyptian citizens, what more could you possibly ask for? It’s a win-win situation.

During his speech, Morsi took the opportunity to define Egypt’s foreign policy priorities: The Nile, Syria, and stopping the “Jewification” of Jerusalem. Please note the absence of word “Israel” or “Zionism” there. Please also note the nature of Egypt’s new enemies: Christian Africans, Non-Sunni Muslims and Arabs. This speech will go down in history as the speech laying the foundation of the Sunni-Zionist alliance against Iran, and also being the realisation of Israeli PM Netanyahu’s wildest fantasy: Egypt and Jihadists versus Iran, Syria and Hezbollah, with Israel not being a part of the equation. As one Israeli opinion writer puts it, Israel should stay out of this and “let them (Arabs) kill themselves quietly”.

Needless to say, this will never work: The Egyptian army is too lazy to get involved in such a war, and the Salafis are not biting, with the Al-Nour Party issuing a scathing critique against the speech and initiative, calling it a distraction put forth by a fledgling regime so desperate to change the conversation from national issues to foreign policy. But what the Al-Nour Party didn’t say was that this regime is so pathetic that it did this by encouraging its citizens to go fight in foreign lands against another government and people for a sectarian cause without an official declaration of war, training or armed forces support. In the eyes of the Muslim Brotherhood, this speech was supposed to be Morsi’s “Nasser moment”, creating a foreign policy conflict that supersedes any internal squabbles, but Morsi is at best a Wannabe Nasser, and this will not work, because the average Egyptian is so overwhelmed with his daily struggle for survival that the notion of Egypt being involved in any conflict outside of the country is simply outrageous.

Had Morsi truly wanted to help Syrians, he would have issued some initiatives that would help the estimated one million Syrian refugees in Egypt so as not to suffer daily humiliation. He could have issued a directive that equalised the degrees of educated Syrian with that of Egypt’s to allow Syrian doctors and engineers a chance to work in their vocations. He could have given them all work permits, thus giving the Syrian refugees a method to exist, work and survive in Egypt legally. He could have banned the practice of selling Syrian women as wives to Egyptian males that happens in Salafi mosques. Instead, in a grandiose move, he shut down their embassy, which is the only place that provided Syrian refugees access to crucial consular services, and helped them get to their next destination if they wanted out of Egypt. Dear Syrian refugees, you can start thanking us any minute now.

I am willing to wager that when historians document this phase in Egyptian history, they will call it “the LSD period”, because we are watching the hallucinations of the Islamists and their leaders being broadcasted on our national televisions, creating a binary primordial world where Islam is threatened, all of their enemies are infidels bent on destroying the religion and where they are the faith’s sole defenders and champions. It’s beyond sad. Had a US channel created a TV show depicting Islamist rule and simply copied and pasted the actions and speeches of the Morsi government, its writers and producers would’ve been called Islamophobic and out of touch with reality. Unfortunately this is reality, and it must change. 30 June cannot come fast enough.

About the author

Mahmoud Salem

Mahmoud Salem

Mahmoud Salem is a political activist, writer, and social media consultant. His writings could be found at www.sandmonkey.org and follow him @sandmonkey on Twitter

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  • MaximusBoomaye

    WOW!

    Thee most hilarious piece of journalism I have read in Years… Dude, you are the Steven Clobert of Egypt. Loved it and I am still laughing. Go Mahmoud Salem.

  • sam enslow

    I start to believe the actions of the Islamists/Brothers are not accidental. I beleive their purpose is to destroy Egypt and rebuild it to their desires with satraps given to party loyalists serving a new Khedive subject to a new Ottoman sultan much to the chargrin of Qtar and Saudi Arabia.

    • sam enslow

      I also tend to believe that on 30 June, The people of Egypt should begin the process of retaking their mosques and religion. Just say, “No thanks, Saudi Arabia.”

      • Fulan Fulan

        Eh da? You aren’t even Muslim or Egyptian, it doesn’t really matter what you believe we should do. Foreign instigator.

        • MaximusBoomaye

          Relax man, Sam is a pseudonym, he is a smart Egyptian Who will not post with his real name, so crazies won’t come looking for him. and crazy people abound online, just check the mirror. Also it is something has to do with : “FREEDOM OF SPEECH”, a right for all who use the internet, invented by foreigners for people like you to voice their opinion, so enjoy it it’s on us…. and you’re welcome!

  • Fulan Fulan

    No, Syrian doctors should not be given licenses to practice here. We already have too many doctors in this country and we should not be allowing doctors who may have a history of professional misconduct that we cannot verify. Also Syrian doctors study medicine in Arabic, not English, and therefore do not share a professional language in which they can properly communicate with their Egyptian colleagues. They also speak a different dialect and come from a different culture and this may hamper their ability to communicate with patients. I support giving registered refugees the right to work, but not professional licensure. These doctors can work in any other field. As long as they are able to earn a living doing something, we should not feel the need to make our own doctors suffer unemployment for the sake of Syrian doctors.

    • NAME:EMAN

      The most idiotic justification I’ve ever read!! “They study in Arabic therefore do not share a professional language to properly communicate..” What in the name of God is this rubbish?!! If I don’t know what MOST of Egyptians sound like when speaking English, I would have thought this is London you’re talking about lol..Education in Syria is very high quality regardless of the language. And yes, Syria is the only country that was able to ‘Arabise’ medicine..something to be appreciated and not condemned. Worrying about over saturating the market with doctors that it would harm the Egyptian doctors is perfectly acceptable just don’t justify it with nonsense

    • Amr El-Shawarby

      To me, this sounds like a load of absolutely horrendous information. The ratio of doctors to patients in Egypt is almost 1:2000. Perhaps an option would be allowing the Syrian doctors to undertake a certain exam (written in English and practical with patients) that qualifies them to earn a practitioners license in Egypt.

      • sam enslow

        Look at all the village hospitals that have few if any doctors or qualified heath workers. The Syrians could help provide health care to those now almost totally neglected.

    • crescent5

      True- Egypt’s unemployment rate is too high to give such highly qualified jobs to refugees. However, the rest of your reasoning is ridiculous. Do the thousands of doctors who studied medicine in the Arabic section of our public universities not count for anything? What about the fact that we have a portion of Egyptian society in every key position that belongs to the social and economic elite, and despite living in the same country, come from a very different culture than average Egyptians?

      • me

        Public universities in Egypt also teach medicine in English. But I believe we have all missed the point here, which is Morsi doesn’t care about helping Syria. He’s only using them to try to distract the Egyptian people.

  • Hana N.

    Right to the point as usual. Agree with your analysis 100%.

  • Amr El-Shawarby

    Interesting read with chronological ‘schtick’. However, I don’t think the Egyptian Army is too lazy to get into a war ‘in’ Syria. I believe that the only remaining Army in the heart of the middle east that’s capable of functioning is the Egyptian Army (Syria, Lybia, Jordan, Lebanon, Sudan, KSA are all bygones). Israel no longer has to dedicate almost half of it’s infantry and tank units to defend against Syria (as it used to), now the Israeli army is operating at full capacity right ahead of the Sinai borderline…I think the Egyptian Army has a much more important duty at stake. Not lazy at all.

  • Guest

    Really nice one Mr Mahmoud Salem! Very good, though I have to disagree on solely one thing:
    If
    it really was “the LSD period” of Egyptian history we are living today
    ..there surely would have much been more love and caring among us
    Egyptians!
    thank you for the article

  • Basharyet Adam

    Really nice one Mr Mahmoud Salem! Very good, though I have to disagree on solely one thing:
    If
    it really was “the LSD period” of Egyptian history we are living today
    ..there surely would have been much more love and caring among us
    Egyptians!
    thank you for the article

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  • Amr Fahmy

    Very well said as always and obviously a sign that their end is very near, as no one would do such stupid things if they weren’t desperate, and in a sick way which shows their real face,
    Latest event of governors appointment and in particular the retired terrorist of Gamaa Islamyea as governor of Luxor, the same city were his terrorists
    Org slaughtered innocents,
    Was for me the final proof of Ikhwan demise
    There was an ancient Roman proverb: “when the gods want to destroy someone, they first make him loose his mind, be crazy”
    That’s were are now in Egypt

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